Here is why . ..

. . .you don't let found kittens lick your eye.




In just one night, I've transformed into my own evil twin brother, Hugo.

On the plus side, I was able to miss work and completely devastate the Mexican lunchtime buffet up the street. And I learned that a buffet curator can quite accurately convey, "Why in the world did you think it was a good idea to eat at a buffet given your grossly disgusting condition?" in a stare.

Also, to great benefit, is the fact that my occular discharge is clear. Clear is healthy. Yellow or green occular discharge is bad. It could mean chlamydia.

Chlamydia is bad.

Way bad.