Monday, December 31, 2007

Worst Movies of 2007

I'm Not There


This is easily one of the worst fucking movies I’ve ever sat through. I don’t give a damn if it’s, “not supposed to be a typical bio-pic.” That doesn’t make right sitting for over two hours while a parade of self-indulgence passed before me. It’s almost as if each actor portraying Dylan was vying for the worst performance. Cate Blanchett is terrible. Anyone that thinks I may be saying/writing that to be an iconoclast need only watch the scene where Dylan and his entourage are held at knife point by a fan. Look at her performance in that scene and try to defend her. It doesn’t matter; she’ll be nominated for an Academy Award. And she’ll win. Also, can someone please stop giving Christian Bale work? It only encourages him. The same goes for Drew Barrymore. Him, too.

Zodiac


Let’s trail the Zodiac killer with an uninteresting, annoying, concerned citizen for two-and-a-half hours!

I Think I Love My Wife


This movie is almost as unfunny as this: Click

Juno


I’m all for teenagers having sex. Anyone that scans through my Internet History can tell you this. My problem with Juno is that it’s the kid who tries too hard. It’s façade is of something with meaning and purpose. In reality, it’s nothing more than Grouch Marx as a pregnant fifteen-year old, spitting zingers across the room. At it’s best it’s all right. I would have enjoyed it more had it not been shoved down my throat. It by no means warrants the accolade it's receiving. Warning: If you’re going to sit in the front three rows, bring a tarp to protect yourself from the quirk that will be sprayed all throughout the theater. So much quirk.

SpiderMan 3


SpiderDumb

2 comments:

Crystal said...

Let's talk about books now. I like books a lot more than movies. Also, please cook me some dinner.

Jacqueline said...

I second the Spiderman junk. Honestly, most of those flicks were cheesy and atrocious. Now, I'm not sure if those two adjectives can truly co-exist, but I'm willing to try and make it work.

On Juno: I haven't seen it yet, but I'm saddened by the recent flux of the "indie formula" movies, in which I can tell what's going to happen. Most of these films have the exact same themes as the big budget films, with the exception of some quirk-ness. Which, according to you is quantifiable. Absolutely Hilarious!

On the bio-pic of Dylan. It just appeared self-indulgent to me, with a heaping side helping of side-ways smiles and leers. A "don't you get it?" sorta of smile, that I'm just not into. It doesn't help that I just don't like Bob Dylan.