Friday, January 18, 2008

This was. . .

. . . originally going to be posted in response to a response from a comment over at the Two Jerg-Offs and Some Chick-blog. I decided to post it here because fuck them. The events described took place over a 72-hour period in Colorado where a good friend was getting married.

September Mountain Weekend was a testament to what terrible friends I have.

Here are some of the bad decisions nobody fought me on:

Leaving from work and driving straight through to Manitou Springs. (Roughly a 16-hour drive after a full work day.)

Taking me on a hike following 36-waking hours.

Leaving me be when I said, "I don't know the trail. But I'm just gonna sit here for a minute, I'll meet up with you guys at the top."

Letting me fall asleep in my car despite the fact I had a bed ten-feet away.

Not telling me that if you run your engine overnight, the car won't start in the morning. So when you wake up, to pick up your date up from the airport, you'll have to walk the steep descent to the nearest gas station in the rain. But the guy working won't know why the pumps aren't fueling. So you'll have to go further down the road to another station. And the gasoline will overflow from the Nalgene bottles you're using and wash the fresh cuts on your hands that you got while trying to climb up an unknown trail, and you had to use shrubbery to prevent a free fall. And it sliced your hands to ribbons. Then when you get said gasoline, you have to walk up the steep incline, reverse your car down the hill so that the fuel you just poured into the tank can actually be pumped, and use all the energy you got from four hours of sleep to try not to hit any houses or cars. Then you'll pick up your date an hour away, reeking of gasoline and jittery from your misadventure.

Not telling me there was a container with unleaded 15-feet away from the car goes on this list, too.

Renting a "cabin" instead of a room.

Allowing me to perform "All You Need Is Love" at the ceremony.

Not letting me wail on that Tom Cruise-looking kid that kept punching Usher/T-Wu.

Drinking all of the Margarita ala Flask.

Seeing that K-Fed didn't get sent up on some charges of the statutory kind.

I'm sure there are more. I'm just so damned livid at this point.

Check back for updates.

1 comment:

Oliver Babbles said...

This is surprisingly accurate.