It takes. . .

. . . a little over an hour to get ready in the morning.

Ten minutes are spent on washing and grooming. The remaining time is poured over my necktie. A tie is meant to draw focus to the genitals. My struggle comes in finding a knot that accurately conveys my girth.

This morning, I found it.

The double-full Windsor knot (x2), secured around four fingers.

Majestic.