A friend e-mailed me out of the blue asking if I would contribute movie reviews to a site he was starting up. The site is dedicated to b-and-z grade schlock movies. The rub is that I don't particularly care for a lot of movies in this genre. I'd rather watch All About Eve over Switchblade Sisters. (Though the two movies bear a strong resemblance.) And with several lifetimes worth of great movies that I still want to see, it's difficult settling down to watch some teenagers with a digital camcorder, condoms, and Karo syrup. (Strike the last one and I'm there - literally.)
Another issue that completely reveals my whore-like nature, is that I don't read movie reviews. Furthermore, I hate movie reviews. I don't see why people read Roger Ebert, or any of the other reviewers who re-write the entire premise, including most of the plot turns, to a movie, then omit the grand finale before commenting on wether to see it or not. No reviewer has ever influenced my decision to see, or not see, a movie. Case in point, I rented Gigli the day it came out. Why, becuase it was written and directed by Martin Breast. I didn't care that it was one of the most panned movies of the decade. But, yes. It was one of the worst movies I'd seen in years. Especially the scene where Jennifer Lopez is doing yoga and telling Ben Affleck of how a vagina is like a flower.
The site is www.bthroughz.com
Learn it. Love it. Read it occasionally.
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