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"so you're a flautist?"

"yes."

"but you're interviewing for a job teaching piano?"

"that's right."

"do you even play piano?"

"no."

"isn't that something you should sort of . . . i dunno, know?"

"if you can read music and understand theory, it doesn't matter."

"don't you have to play piano during the interview?"

"yeah, I'm usually asked to play."

"how does that go?"

"terribly. then i just tell whoever that i'm a competent musician and that I'll be able to teach 12-year olds."

"and that works?"

"the guy interviewing me told me he doesn't know how to play, either."

"this is the worst piano school, ever."