Wednesday, September 3, 2008

In renting a movie . . .

. . . the clerk at Blockbuster asked if I'd like to put a five-dollar deposit down on a pre-order for the new Star Wars game, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed.

"Oh, wow. No," I replied.

This was the cue for his Alec Baldwin - fuck you that coffee is for closers - hard sell.

"Are you sure? Because the game works as part of Lucas' canon, taking place during the unexplored years between episodes three and four. You play as Darth Vader's secret apprentice, Starkiller. You probably recognize that as Luke Skywalker's original name in the first three drafts of the New Hope screenplay. So Vader dispatches you to kill off the Jedi by using all the powers of the force. You also have Proxy, a sadistic 3CPO unit. Together, your mission is to establish the fall of the Jedi Knights, as they appear in episodes 4,5 and 6."

I blinked. He took this as a show of interest.

"Also, get this: You actually get to play as Darth Vader! You're tossing people around with the wave of a hand. You can cause galaxies to implode! You're doing everything that someone would want to do if given the force. Oh,oh,oh - Palpatine is in it! Palpatine is in it! This game is gonna be a trip, I tell ya. So can I put you down for a copy?"

"That sounds great, but I'd better not. I'm still trying to work my way through Virtual Tennis."

As I left, the man standing in line behind me approached the clerk.

"When does that game come out?"

1 comment:

rachelok said...

do you carry around some sort of audio recording device? there's no other way you could remember his enthusiastic explanation. unless...wait. unless it made perfect sense to you. i'm a fucking detective. nerd.