Monday, December 15, 2008

An Explanation . . .

Last Friday I posted an entry that was an inquiry into the reasons for how and why Colleen is a skank. It was picked up by the AP and appeared in a few papers (nothing with circulation greater than 500,000, unfortunately) to modest acclaim.

For those out of the loop, which is anyone not in the 708-area code (and you should thank your God for that), Colleen is my adopted cousin. Not some ex-girlfriend who cheated on me by going down on some nard named Travis, as so many of you (three) have speculated. (I'm expecting that one to happen sometime around March of '09.) Aside from being my adopted cousin, and providing me a place to spend holidays away from home, she's something like the kid sister I never had. And with that, I'm as mean as I can possibly be to her. What's great, is that she can fight back. Often at times, putting me in my place and shutting me up. (Those of you who know me understand what a feat that is.)

Months ago, I triggered a family wide debate about the sharing of toothbrushes. I used the toothbrush of Colleen's blood cousin, Cait, without telling her until some point later in the day. She and the entire family were disgusted by this. I guess it wasn't so much a debate as it was everyone just thinking what I did was wrong and gross (again 708ers). As part of a journalism final, Colleen wrote a blog on the topic of shared dental accouterments, which she then guided me to. I replied with my blog on why she's a skank.

I won.

I'm sure this isn't end of this battle. In fact, Colleen told me so via text. I'm almost excited for what she has planned. It'll justify whatever jerk thing I'm going to say or do in the future.

Until then, know that you're a good cousin, Colleen. And a great friend.

But you're also an oinker.

She ate all this food by herself, while waiting for boys to call.

Which they didn't.

No comments: