Monday, January 12, 2009

Live Blogging . . .

. . . from The Girlfriend's Apartment.

10:25 - The Girlfriend, oblivious to my repeated attempts to join her, leaves me to her apartment to meet with her "friends" at a neighborhood bar.

10:27 - Drink her last bottle of Fat Tire and proceed to leave the empty carton in the fridge.

10:38 - Thanks to a nearby unprotected wireless network, my laptop is able to connect to the InterWeb. I immediately take out the mounds of work due this coming week.

10:45 - Youporn.com

11:15 - Finding InterWeb porn to be a bore, I begin the search for any adult materials The Girlfriend may have lying around.

11:32 - The Cat, smart to my quest, pounces on my foot - clawing the webbing between two toes.

11:33 - Spray The Cat's face with a watter bottle for minutes on end.

11:37 - I stop, after The Cat's meows begin to sound like "Please stop. I love you."

11:38 - Cradle The Cat, whom I rename Baron Von Meow Meow, in my arms, rocking it slowly.

11:40 - Place Baron Von Meow Meow safely in the vegetable crisper.

12:10 - The shoe boxes hold shoes. The luggage holds more, smaller, luggages. The Girlfriend is boring.

12:35 - The Girlfriend's computer password is not password. Or, pa55w0rd.

12:40 - My God! I'm so bored!

12:57 - In trying to make a sandwich, I mistakenly take Baron Von MeowMeow as prosciutto and thinly slice the feline.

1:10 - Acquire a new, similar cat from the dumpsters behind the Taco Bell. New Cat smells like sour cream and rank beans. Hopefully, The Girlfriend will dismiss the smell as coming from me.

1:50 - It's past last call and The Girlfriend is still not back. Think about the various dangers that could have presented themselves in simply walking the few blocks back home. Think about muggers, kidnappers, and rapists. Alarmed, I set out for the streets in the hope of making sure The Girlfriends gets home safely.

1:55 - It's really cold out there. She's probably fine.

2:10 - The Girlfriend is back. She stumbles in and introduces me to Travis.

2:15 - The palpable tension is broken over gin. Travis and I flip a coin. Heads, tails. Tails, heads.

(Some of these events take place at a time after this posting. On these, I'm sort-of predicting what's to come.)

1 comment:

rachelok said...

i got left out. too uninteresting? damn it. on tomorrow's schedule: be more interesting.