Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Party Planning Committee . . .

From A.v.E

To:(The Girlfriend)

I'm trying to write a reminder e-mail for the party on Saturday. Can you take a look at these and tell me which one I should send?

Version One.

Subject: Heads-Up.


It turns out Tommy Wiseau will be hosting a screening of The Room at the Music Box on Friday. This means Tommy Wiseau will most likely be in Chicago throughout the weekend. Please, I urge all of you; if you see Tommy Wiseau prior to Saturday - do not tell him we're screening his movie. He would probably show up and it would get really weird and something tells me Tommy Wiseau doesn't smell very good.

En serio, it would be like talking about someone only to realize they were listening the entire time and now they're trying to pretend they didn't hear what you said but you know they did and now it's just this weird little mind game. Do you want that? Really!? Do you!?

Man in Yellow Hat

Version Two:

The Room - This Saturday.

Dear Guests (confirmed and otherwise),

Having talked it over with The Girlfriend, it's been decided that a six-foot Subway Seafood Sensation just wouldn't be a good idea.

Please plan accordingly.

The Management

Version Three:

The Room - This Saturday

Some of you may have learned that Tommy Wiseau is screening The Room the night before us. Here are several reasons why our screening will be better than Tommy Wiseau's.

1.Tommy Wiseau will not be raffling off prizes.

2. We live within walking distance from many of you.

3. Not only is Tommy Wiseau not raffling off prizes -he's not raffling off anything.

4. Tommy Wiseau did not make a trip to RadioShack to make multiple-room Room viewing a reality.

5. If this screening is a success, the next one will feature Popeye's Chicken and Thunderbird.

6. If this screening isn't a success, the next one will feature Thunderbird.

7. Seriously, RadioShack.

8. Have you been in there lately?

9. It's pretty fucking bleak.

10. And it was at nine-o-clock in the loop. Do that many people the in south loop need lamp cord at that hour?

Hope to see you there.

Runaway Train Never Coming Back

From: (The Girlfriend
To: A.v.E

I'm really busy. Is it possible for you to figure out one thing without having to ask?

From: A.v.E
To: (The Girlfriend)

. . .

From: (The Girlfriend)
To: A.v.E

The second one.

From: A.v.E
To: (The Girlfriend)

Really? That one?

From (The Girlfriend)
To: A.v.E

Ugh! Just send them all.

1 comment:

Moaning Myrtle said...

is this your way of inviting the entire internet to your party? do i need to rsvp?