In Junior High . . .

. . . I watched a Q&A with Stephen King on C-SPAN's Book TV.

The question was asked by a girl who was younger than me at the time.

What scares you?

King described the writing process as going to the well and lowering a bucket. His fear, is that one day that bucket comes back empty. (Somewould argue that it did, but it really hasn't stopped him.) The idea of inspiration being a depletable resource is one that was great enough to embed itself in my pre-teen mind.

This blog serves a few purposes. Originally it was to keep in touch with friends and let them know how I'm doing, whenever it was convenient for them to check-in. Then it become my morning jog. That exercise that kept the mind from atrophying under the weight of municipal tax code and payment interfaces. There was probably a solid year where this thing only had one or two readers a week, and it never bothered me. This forum was the most readily accessible of moleskin binders.

But it's by no means creative. It's the literary equivalent of three middle age guys in the basement of a one-story ranch job murdering Bad Religion covers while the kids are at soccer. The "real stuff" was worked on immediately following the morning's post. After the fingers were revved up from the trial run.

Lately, the spark that fuels that which bears my actual name has been dull. There hasn't been that drive. And even with deadlines looming over me like the shadow of someone walking behind you, I still can't find my release: That desire to get the work done. And it terrifies me.

I've found that nearly everything I've written is a blend of two separate ideas. Be it a scene or a situation that suddenly recalls another and the marriage of the two results in the work. Downside is, I'm finding that gap between the synapse to grow longer and longer each time. Soon, it'll be years for the two to coalesce. That won't really work out for me if I ever plan on making this more than a way to kill time before lunch.

You're probably thinking what I'm thinking: Movie tie-in novelizations under a pseudonym.

Maybe this won't be so bad after all.