Monday, May 10, 2010


Hope this e-mail finds you well. I'm hoping a bit more comfort comes with the warmer weather and that the knee is giving you as little trouble as possible.

Well, last Friday we had an incident in the 'ole workspace. M. came in at the tail end of one of her benders. Before, it's been an amazing coincidence that she always pulls this on the same days our boss ends up out of the office. On this occasion, dear reader, her timing was poor. She'd been a zombie for the better part of the week. She was front desk and had only shown up two days. Friday she comes in and is pretty ugly. Our boss' boss even notices it first thing and asks me about her deal. I shrug and say it's probably the medications. Now here's what I'm not sure about. If boss called her into her office or if she went in on her own accord. What we do know is that the [rep from out new managing firm]was conferenced in and the decision was made to send her home. We assumed this meant she was fired. But Hugo Boss then goes around the office and tells us each that we're not to tell her she's been fired. She'll be informed when she arrives on Monday morning. Isn't that fucked, you're going to make someone dress up and come all the way downtown to tell them they're fired.

She didn't call or try to come back.

This morning CORPORATE was here. They waited on M. who never showed. As I started to write this all down, Big Baby (her suitor's moniker) came in. He spoke with Boss Cavarici and told her that M. had been hospitalized over the weekend. She was at Northwestern but has since been transferred to Weiss. How she arrived there and for what reasons are the subject of pure speculation.

What this all comes down to, in my opinion, is that he could never fire someone. I don't think he has it in him. He's like a dealer who can't fire a pistol. As was stated in our interviews with the new managing entity, the rep had never seen an office with a 0% turnover. Since then, we've lost: You. G-Man. J-Balls. S-Girl(she was let go for just being a pain in the ass. At a work party after the merger, she got drunk and started talking shit on everything - including the new management within earshot. A few weeks later someone noticed something odd on our check stubs -our hours worked are listed a little weird but it's due to a difference in accounting between the two firm. S-Girl would not let this go and started calling and hounding them about her wages. They had enough of it and came in to clear out her desk for her. L-town was officially released last week, she'd been here on a week-to-week basis all this time.) So it seems Buggle Boss Boy has finally been able to find someone to wash the sheets.

Enough about all this. How is the market treating you? I see on the news of the stagnation in unemployment. That we've held steady on jobs and are starting to show signs of improvement. Are you seeing any of this? Have you been able to put your tax brain to use to your own benefit? Everyone here keeps asking if I've heard from you.

I'd like to say I have. And that he's doing well.

Your friend,

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