If brevity is the soul of wit. . .

. . .then this girl is fucking retarded.

Migrating to a new e-mail account is as simple as it is necessary. Storage limitations, advanced features, and the purging of contacts fuel the need to change what follows the @.

A girl I used to know, sent out the following. (And, as a side note, she talks in the exact manner she writes.)

". . .some of you may know that I have my work account (redacted@tap.com) and my Hotmail account (redacted@hotmail.com). Being that my company was recently bought by our parent company and the future looks a little uncertain for my position here (and, hence, my work e-mail address) AND being that my Hotmail account has basically become my "spam" account for stores, sign-ups, products, and what have you, I've recently switched to Gmail and prefer that all non-spam, personal e-mails be sent to that account. (This means, if it's addressed to "Dear Friends"--don't send it to Gmail!) To clarify, I'm not saying I'm checking out of my current company, just that I'd prefer that personal e-mail not come to my work addy anyway. Lord knows I'm like a kitten and a bright shiny toy--anything that could potentially distract me (ie, personal e-mails at work), will. So please update your address book with my Gmail account for non-work e-mails. I don't mind if you send me questionnaires/e-mail blasts, safety warnings (Ahem, mother!), official national/international fill-in-the-blank day/week/month notices (eg, official "Talk Like A Pirate" Day is Sept 19), and whatnot once in a while, but please send these things to my Hotmail account so these can be read at my leisure and are not of dire consequence. (Well, except the one about International Pillow Fight Day. That one would have been of dire consequence were it not to have freakishly snowed 8" the day before.)

Therefore, please send all "real" e-mail to my Gmail account.
Please send all spam-type e-mail to my Hotmail account.
Please delete my current work e-mail from your address book.
If I'm on any auto-mail lists of yours, please select the appropriate address at which you should e-mail me (redacted@hotmail.com = more spammy-type stuff; redacted@gmail.com for actual information about people I know or things I actually plan to do already).

Anyway, I hope this e-mail finds you and your loved one(s), friend(s), and/or family(ies) well. Please say hi to your (mom/dad/son/daughter/sister/brother/boyfriend/girlfriend/roommate/friend/cat/dog/iguana) for me!"

I deleted her as a contact all together.