Friday, May 23, 2008


Not only was I able to procure a bed in the proscribed vicinity, I was able to find one for sale in my very own building.

It was a little disappointing, as I was hoping to post today on what it was like to trek a box spring and mattress through the mean streets of Uptown. Moving the bed from the 3rd floor to the 5th floor was a little too easy. So I opted to move everything in one trip, and use the regular elevator in my building, not the service elevator.

I nearly broke my leg and left the wheelchair bound trapped on their respective floors.

I set my newfound Serta Saturn against my neighbor's door. The mattresses barred entry/exit for the tenant(s) of 519. I called everyone I knew to see if they wanted a new bed with some decorative soiling around the mouth and crotch areas. She said, "No."

In all my planning, I gave no consideration for my old bed. I actually found it difficult to part with. For one, it's cumbersome, and made of metal. Secondly, it's seen me nearly every night for the past 10 years. I was wistful as I dragged the metal frame out across the hardwood floor.

The great thing about living in a Giant E is that if you have any problems, you can just take them to the stairwell.

Come to think of it, my problems and trashy dates seem more and more alike with every day.

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