Kirby's PC . . .

. . . can't access the shared drives. I hear him troubling a supervisor about it, so I walk over to his PC to take a look and save the day. Kirby calls out from three rows down, "What's the diagnosis?"

"Your keyboard is disgusting and there's now way I'm touching it. Seriously, it's covered in crumbs and chocolate! What do you do over there!? And your mouse smells like shit. If it were up to me, we'd launch your whole fucking workspace into the sun."

I spent the entire morning working on my income taxes. I've taken so many liberties with it, the ACLU should be listed as a paid preparer.

I spent the entire morning working on my income taxes. My deductions are so creative, that MC Escher should be listed as a paid preparer.

I spent the entire morning working on my income taxes. My adjusted gross income was so low, you'd think I hired a bigshot Jew accountant.

Defying convention, I'm wearing pin-striped pants with a (faintly) pin-striped shirt. Dead Prez wrote songs about men like me. . .

Okay, I was going to embed a video of Dead Prez' Hell Yeah. But all the videos on YouTube are embedded proof. (You can watch the video here.)

So let me re-state that.

Woody Guthrie wrote songs about men like me . . .